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[sticky post] Introduction

Oct. 20th, 2013 | 03:29 am

This is a sticky post that will always be at the top of my entries in the hopes of orienting any newcomers.

Welcome to this journal.

May you find warmth and stimulation from the deep darkness of the marrow.

About this journal:

Very, very few of my entries are locked or otherwise filtered. Those that are have their reasons for being so.

I state very little about my personal life in a direct manner in this journal. Rather, this journal is an alchemical practice for me. I take my dayworld (body) and underworld (soul) experiences and move them through me: purifying, coagulating, dissolving, calcining, transmuting, etc and mixing them with other knowledge and experiences to create a tincture with words; poesis, poety... but alas, not quite poetry. Well, perhaps, sometimes. This in hopes that I can refine the personal experience into something that will be more universally resonant, more empathic, more metaphorical.

And I do speak in metaphor... those more inclined to literalism shall probably be very confused and find themselves too overburdened by judgment to enjoy this journal. Then again, perhaps enough weight will be piled on and the shoulders will break, cracking the clavicles and releasing the shoulder girdle from its anchor at the sternum. Then this is a very good place from which to proceed.

How I interact:

I often seek to disturb. That is; to shift the point of view from a comfortable, well-known, thoroughly learned and anchored perspective to a fresh one where the balance must be regained and new rules apply. It is here that one often finds a mirror. I do this a lot in my comments to others and this will usually take the form of questions. If the cap fits, wear it, if it resonates, dance with it, if not, toss it aside.

Mine are merely one of a myriad possible perspectives and I am most aware of this. I do not pretend to be right or in any way be privy to The Truth.

I enjoy kindred souls. I also enjoy people with whom I can resonate, but who come from differing perspectives. I will banter and take on these differing perspectives in order to further expand my own gamut of understanding. I would hope that the other would be likewise inclined. In order to achieve this one must have respect for the other and be capable of listening: chewing, ruminating, considering, etc. I do not care to simply win an argument, I do not care to attack or be attacked by a barrage of words and ideas that are intransigent, especially when they come from tired and hackneyed perspectives that I have already learned and re-learned ad nauseum; it is simple enough for me to turn my words into medicinal poisons that strike the core, should I feel the need to do so.

What I seek:

Like most social media, I seek community. I enjoy reading what others have to say and I probably spend more time reading others' words and replying to their posts than I do composing my own posts. This is a reasonably old journal, but I left the LJ community for some years and have recently revived this journal as I was unable to find the sort of community and words that I crave through other social media. If you dig back far enough, you will find a large gap in time and also a large difference in style.

I also seek a place to archive and possibly share my words and thoughts, in hope that they may perhaps be of use to another. But the first takes precedence over the latter and you might find that I take very little effort in explaining myself (apart from this very introductory post). I do welcome comments, questions or further elucidations in the comments section. I am quite open in that sense.

On community / friendship:

I am much more personal and personable when I communicate directly. As I said above, I tend to respond to people's posts unless I feel that they prefer I do not or I feel I have nothing to add... or I am being discrete.

I will actively search out people whose words I wish to read and add them to my friends list. Though in truth I do hope that they are interested in my words, this is not necessary. I will usually introduce myself through a comment when I do add a friend, but if I do not receive a friendback, I will make no further comments on their posts as I assume that they are not interested, which is fine. If I added you as a friend and you do not wish for me to have you as a friend, simply let me know and I will remove you, no problem.

My style, my words and my content are their own filters. If you wish to add me as a friend, then you have your reasons and by all means do so. I welcome you to introduce yourself in a comment, but this is by no means necessary.

I am interested in your words and content; in your heart and ideas. I will not judge you by your nationality, gender, age, sexuality or any such things. Know that if I friend you, I will listen to you.

Blessings of the great spirit.


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Oct. 22nd, 2013 | 01:53 am

I refuse to define my sexuality for another because my sexuality is not defined... because sexuality rarely is defined, utterly and absolutely. Yes, of course, I have my tendencies, but I have also found myself outside of those tendencies. Those unexpected moments, those circumstances outside of my ill-perceived limits have defined me more than my expectations.

I refuse to define my sexuality, because I refuse to be defined by my sexuality.

And I most certainly will not give another my consent to define me by such standards. They shall do so anyway, for we are terrified of that which we cannot readily place into our knowledge structure, that which we cannot pigeon hole, and any divergent sexuality is already a massive threat to a repressed ego, precisely because it breaks boundaries.

The encounter with another is meant to be a mystery, one that can only be explored through time and experience. The more we label another, the more we limit them and undermine them as humans... the more we label ourselves, the more we limit and undermine ourselves, as humans.


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Oct. 21st, 2013 | 02:28 pm

"A matter to which the imagintaion cannot give a twofold life cannot play the psychological role of a fundamental substance. A matter which does not elicit a psychological ambivalence cannot find its poetic double which allows endless transpositions. It is necessary then to have a double participation -participation of desire and fear, participatiojn of good and evil, peaceful participation of black and white -for the material element to involve the entire soul." -On Poetic Imagination, Gaston Bachelard

Soul seeks to know itself and relate with the external through the internal, which is in constant dynamic motion. Contrasted to ego, which seeks to contain the inner -and its fluidity -by containing the outer through logical structures and categories (once again an inner motion). Many of the motions of ego in this regard belong to an act of duality; separating each thing into one of either discrete categories of opposition; a counterbalance to psyche's tendency towards multiplicity.

Any thing that conatins within itself its opposite, or any opposition, is generally rejected by ego, but if engaged, will fuel the imaginal and be food for the soul (fundamental substance) in its quest to grow through the immediate. Its very multiple, ambiguous, ambivalent nature will bypass ego's attempts to contain it within a logical structure.

Let me speak then of love. One may well regard love to be a purely positive affair, but this is a most baleful egosyntonic vision of love. Love contains within it many forces in opposition, in fact the very fundamental element of love is the dissolution of ego's image of itself through another. This must necessarily contain within it fear, sacrifice and even hate -which is in itself born from the heart as hate and love have one great similarity; its subject is first and foremost in the lover's/hater's heart, it is an obsession with the other, whom is, in either case, a threat to the ego. However, if love is engaged with, fully, in its true spectrum, then the soul grows tremendously.


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Oct. 20th, 2013 | 05:42 am

"The ambiguity of dreams lies in their multiplicity of meanings, their inner polytheism, the fact that they have in each scene, figure, image "an inherent tension of opposites," as Jung would say. The tension is more than that, however, it is the tension of multiple likenesses, endless possibilities, for the dream is soul itself, and soul, said Heraclitus, is endless." -James Hillman, The Dream and the Underworld


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Oct. 14th, 2013 | 03:05 am

Marrow like magma. What warmth from bones. Like hearths, keeping the memory of our souls.

Hestia and Mnemosyne, embracing from within.

Ancestors, calling from within.

Legacy, flowing from within.

In many shamanic traditions, the bones house the third soul. This soul, in turn, houses memory. Hence the title of this journal.

It is an almost universal element in the shamanic rites of nearly all shamanic cultures to deeply contemplate one's own skeleton.


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Oct. 14th, 2013 | 02:52 am

Have you ever found your shadow standing some feet away from you? As in its cast does not touch your person. You are over here and it is over there.

Perhaps it means that you are not quite where you are supposed to be.

Or when you are supposed to be.

Or worse... You are not quite where you are expected to be. Which means that your shadow knows something that you don't.

Your weird is out of phase.


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Oct. 14th, 2013 | 02:49 am

I wonder just how much of what we do, our achievements, our poetry, our progress, our discoveries, our ideals, morals and thoughts, our destructions and creations, our art, is a euphemism for our dying.


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Oct. 13th, 2013 | 05:48 am

That awkward moment when I realize that awkward moments are precisely the moments where life catches me unawares, where my plans did not go through, where something unexpected occurred for which I was not prepared. They are the moments where my stratagems failed me and my masks fell off, exposing my naked face. They are the moments where the expected did not occur and the already-learned was inapplicable. Essentially, that awkward moments are among the few moments where I am truly alive.


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Oct. 13th, 2013 | 05:25 am

I found this piece of alchemy hand written with a brush and paint on a decaying wall, stucco peeling off and cinder blocks exposed, outside an old frame shop here in Mexico City:
"Materializar lo espiritual hasta hacerlo palpable, espiritualizar lo material hasta hacerlo invisible; esto es todo el secreto del arte."

English translation:
"Materialize the spiritual until it is palpable, spiritualize the material until it is invisible; this is the whole secret of art."


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Oct. 13th, 2013 | 05:18 am

When I move forward towards something, I must ask myself: "What am I running from?" Just as in the physical world, every move of the psyche has a contrary motion keeping it both in tension and in balance. When I am aware of these movements, I am creating consciousness. When I am creating consciousness, I am being a witness to myself.


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